


Uncertainty

by autumnsolstice9



Series: Justice [14]
Category: Naruto
Genre: F/M, One-Sided Hyuuga Hinata/Uzumaki Naruto
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-14
Updated: 2019-03-14
Packaged: 2019-11-17 22:18:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18107609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/autumnsolstice9/pseuds/autumnsolstice9
Summary: “He was your father,” Naruto says, quiet.“I know,” she says, sinking deep into her seat, staring up towards the marbled ceiling. “He was my father, and he was going to seal me.”or: Naruto, Hinata, seen and unseen





	Uncertainty

Hinata leaves the Hokage tower, her head flustered even as she outwardly attempts to remain cool, and meets Naruto’s gaze from across the road. It is not accusing like the night of the coup, but it is not understanding either. It’s just Naruto, confused, open, vulnerable. Some part of her aches to explain, to give him her heart so he can weigh it’s justices and injustices on a scale, but another part tells her to hold her heart close and steady, to keep it safe from those who would do it harm.

Would Naruto do it harm? She suddenly isn’t sure. She doesn’t know where they stand, where they have ever stood. Were they ever friends? Or were they ‘friends’ by virtue of being part of the rookie nine? She knows everyone is aware of what she thinks of him, and for once she would like to know what he thinks of her. She’s never known- he called her gloomy once, when they were young, but also said he liked people like her. He cheered her on in the chuunin exams, he raged when she nearly died, but she wants to know more. What did he think of her when they passed each other in the street? What did he think of her when she left? When she didn’t have her byakugan eyes focused on him?

Did he ever think of her?

Uncertainty seeps into her pores, and she resists fidgeting in her place. Naruto stares and stares at her, and she refuses to look away. _Let him see me,_ she thinks, _Let him learn who I am._

He is the first to look away, and Hinata does not sigh but she does lower her gaze to the street in front of her. She does not meet his eyes when she looks back up and, despite the weight of all eyes on her, she carries herself home with her head held high.

***

“They want my head,” she tells Kurenai once they are in the safety of Hinata’s private chambers.

Her sensei, belly large in her pregnancy, visibly pales. “No,” she says, moving a hand to lay it over Hinata’s, “I won’t let them. Not my daughter. Not you.”

Hinata’s always wondered what she did to deserve such love from Kurenai. Her sensei loves team 8 with a fierceness that, Hinata assumes based on what Kiba says, can only be described as motherly. She and Shino have never known motherly love in the intimate way Kiba has, both their mothers gone too soon, but they had agreed with the Inuzuka. Kurenai was more than a sensei to them.

For a short period of her life, Hinata was convinced Kurenai was her guardian angel. She had been kicked out of the compound as a genin and thought she would live alone in a small, cramped apartment, but Kurenai had taken her in, kept her fed and loved, had made her tea and fixed her cuts. It was like nothing Hinata had experienced before. She had thought Kurenai was an angel placed on earth to help her.

She knows her sensei is as human as the rest of the world, but she still maintains that childlike awe over everything Kurenai does.

“They want my head,” Hinata repeats, letting her hands shake and her voice quiver. If it were anyone else, aside from Kiba and Shino, she would keep up her mask of confidence. With Kurenai, she is allowed to voice her thoughts. “The Elders compared me to Itachi. They said I was a traitor to Konoha. They said I was a kinslaying kunoichi who disrupted the balance.”

“It was never a balance,” Kurenai says, rubbing her thumb over Hinata’s knuckles, “Someone was always losing. Someone is still always losing.”

It’s never equal. Not in Konoha, not in any land. Hinata knows that now, and can feel the last shred of her old self begin to peel away, leaving this new woman in its place. “I fought in the war, I fought Pein, I have been nothing but loyal for years, but they are asking for my head,” Hinata murmurs looking down at the criss-crossed scarring on her fingertips. “They will accept Sasuke but kill me,” she laughs, bitter and devastated. “Why?”

“You know why,” her sensei says, “You’re a smart girl, you know how this world works. You know why they will accept him.” And she does: because he is the student of the famous Kakashi, because he is the friend of the undefeatable Naruto, because he is the teammate of the hero Sakura, and because he is the only pair of sharingan eyes left in the world. It’s not like she wants Sasuke to die--he is insufferable, untrustworthy, but he was wronged by the village and never received the care he needed. Hinata took many years to learn that lesson, but she knows how Konoha will turn a blind eye towards its people in favor of some inane political game. 

They’re going to kill her because they want control over the Hyuuga, and she is just one of many pairs of byakugan. She’s the student of a genjutsu master, but Kurenai is out of commission due to her pregnancy and, later, a child. They don’t need to appease her. She is the friend of Kiba, but he is not heir, and though Shino is heir to his clan, she thinks they’re willing to risk the wrath of the Aburame. Hanabi is still unbranded, still young, still impressionable. They can manipulate her and mold her into the future they want.

Hinata is unneeded in their game, and because she crossed them, she will die. Surely Sakura will be upset, but she would never cross her mentor. And, remembering the way he looked at her that night, Hinata is unsure if Naruto will rage and fight for her life.

“There will be testimonies tomorrow,” Hinata says, breaking her silence, “To account for my behavior and personality. I don’t know if it will help.”

Kurenai looks at her, and gives her a sad, small smile, hugging her close when she begins to cry.

***

Hinata waits outside the council chamber as people file in and out. There is Tsume, Shibi, Hana, Kiba, and Shino. Even Shikaku appears, surprising her, Shikamaru giving her a lazy wave when he shows up as well. Ino and Choji, Rock Lee, Tenten, Gai-sensei, Kurenai, Sakura, Kakashi, Neji, Hanabi--it makes her heart swell. To think that so many people care for her is dizzying.

Sometime during Neji’s very long testimony, Naruto shows up. “Hey,” he says, one hand coming up to nervously scratch the back of his head, his eyes squeezed shut and expression sheepish.

“Hello,” Hinata replies, meek like she was before this adventure began, her anxiety twisting her guts into different shapes as each second ticks by. 

Naruto takes the seat next to her, his fingers tapping an offbeat rhythm onto his thigh. “I, uh, I’m here to testify your behavior and all that, y’know?”

She doesn’t know what he will say about her, whether she is the good, timid girl he undoubtedly thought she was or if she is a villain, someone who will hurt those closest to her. She wonders if something about her is unforgivable, if Gaara and Sasuke can earn his forgiveness because they were chased by demons but she cannot because she killed her demon before it could cage her and push her into madness.

“Naruto,” she says, knowing that she must be the one to broach the subject because he will always dodge away from it, “I don’t regret what I did. I would do it again. It needed to be done.”

“There are other ways to negotiate,” he says, voice gruff, “The Hokage could’ve-”

“No,” she interrupts, voice slightly shaking, “The Hokage isn’t the answer all the time. The Hokage could have, but the Hokage didn’t. The Sandaime didn’t, the Shodai and the Nidaime didn’t, the Yondaime didn’t and the Godaime didn’t. None of them stopped it. After a certain point, you have to wonder whether they wanted to stop it.”

“That’s not fair,” Naruto says, petulant in his belief, “Being Hokage is a lot of work, they might have wanted to but never got to. I would’ve stopped it, Hinata.”

Anger flashes through her, fast and quick, before it turns into weariness. “Naruto, what was I supposed to do? Wait around for you? I can’t wait forever.” His eyes flash to hers for a moment, something like fear in them, but Hinata is too tired and too scared to do anything about it. “The Hyuuga have spent generations in seals. Enough is enough.”

“He was your father,” Naruto says, quiet. 

Sympathy stabs deep into Hinata. Naruto grew up without parents, and Hinata killed her father without hesitation.

“I know,” she says, sinking deep into her seat, staring up towards the marbled ceiling. “He was my father, and he was going to seal me.” They sit in silence until Neji leaves the chamber and Naruto goes in, his final glance towards her a mixture of emotion she can’t read.

It terrifies her.

***

When Naruto emerges, after what feels like a lifetime later, Tsunade appears with him. “Go home, Hinata,” she says, gaze sympathetic though her words are sharp. “This is going to take a while. Get something to eat, get some sleep.”

Then she walked back into the dreaded chamber, closing the door and preparing to decide Hinata’s fate.

Naruto walks with her back towards the Hyuuga compound, and she’s certain his apartment is on the other side of the village but she doesn’t say anything, giving him time to mull over his thoughts.

“He wasn’t a good father, was he?” It’s such a ridiculous question--everyone knew Hiashi was anything but nice--that Hinata has to restrain a surprised laugh. “I mean, I knew he wasn’t, but I don’t think I really ever knew how bad he was, yanno? I just thought he was tough and really harsh.”

“It’s okay,” Hinata says, already forgiving him for his ignorance. “I didn’t really advertise how bad things in the compound were.”

“He wasn’t all bad, though, was he? I just… can’t imagine someone being 100% evil.”

“No,” she says after a moment of thinking, “I don’t think he was 100% evil. He was loyal to Konoha, even if it meant harming the Hyuuga. He just refused to see his own errors. He was full of pride.”

Everything is quiet as they continue down the path, gravel crunching underneath their sandals. “Did you love him?” Naruto asks.

The question takes her by surprise. “I… did, at some point. I think it’s hard not to love your father. I wasn’t close with him- I lived with Kurenai for a couple years- but for a long time he and Hanabi were my only family. I’ve spent my whole life trying to make him proud. I think I thought my fear was love and a desire to make him happy. It took me a long time to realize I was allowed to be angry with him instead of myself, and then I hated him.”

“I didn’t know. I’m sorry.” 

She already knew that, somewhere deep inside herself. Naruto has never truly known her, just her support. He has never looked beneath the surface.

“I loved you,” she says, because apparently this is a confessional walk. “I loved you so much.”

“You love your people more,” he answers, voice heavy. 

She nods her head and looks at him from the corner of her eyes. “I didn’t, at some point. I would have followed you to the ends of the earth. I’ll still follow you, but there are limits. This is the path I’ve chosen to follow. Despite all they’ve done to me, I love the Hyuuga.”

“I love you,” he tells her, as if it is a simple truth, and it makes tears well up in her eyes and her throat clog. “I love you because you follow your heart, because you love your clan, because you want what’s right.”

They are near the Hyuuga gates. “You don’t know me,” she says, honest.

He takes her hand, his eyes roaming her face before looking deep into her own eyes. “Then let me learn who you are.”

She feels like that shy, little girl again. She wants to run into her room and hide, she wants Kiba and Shino there to catch her before she faints. Inside the compound, she can hear the shuffling of feet, the laughter that has never before been there.

“No,” she tells him, watching his face crumple like her heart, “Not like that. Not now, not anymore.”

Naruto quickly covers his grief with a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes, one that Hinata can see through. “Friends?” he asks, extending a hand out towards her.

“Friends,” she replies, weakly smiling and pulling him in for a hug.

“I’ll keep you safe, Hinata,” he whispers into her hair, “If they want to hurt you, I’ll keep you safe.”

“Thank you,” she whispers back, and she finally feels like she’s on solid ground around him. “Thank you, for everything, Naruto.”

And because he is Naruto and she is Hinata, they pretend they don’t see the flame she thought she would always hold for him be forcibly snuffed out by her own hand. Hinata pretends she doesn’t see his heartbreak, and Naruto pretends he can read the mask she slides into place as she walks into the Hyuuga compound, savior of her people.

**Author's Note:**

> ive been updating so much because im on spring break which ends soon so idk when the next update will be. maybe there will be one this week (probably the final or second to last part of the series) but im not certain. i never plan these i write and then i post lol


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